Virtual vs. Real

September 27, 2007

In an online community, some friends were talking about the the value of virtual worlds.  One person posted a link to "Virtual Russia" and asked if this would be a good substitute if one could not get a chance to actually visit the country themselves.  The following was my reply:

_______________________

My, my, my! C-

What a website! But just to answer your question (which you posed to Ben) no... virtual Russia just won't do.

My whole life I have been OBSESSED with Russia- since the age of 3, literally. My Master's is in Comparative Politics with Russian emphasis. I studied it for years- the language, the culture, the music, seen movies, pictures, read literature, etc.... but nothing prepared me for my first trip to Russia. In the dead of winter, 1999.

I planned the trip for independent study for thesis research. I traveled with a friend and I stayed with him at his grandparents' flat- not far from Red Square.

When we got to their flat he asked me what I wanted to do. I said, "GO TO RED SQUARE!"

The Muscovite sun sets early in the winter. It was 4:30 and it was already dark. It was snowing. We got on the metro for the short ride up the orange line. We got off the train and walked up the stairs to emerge outside, parallel to the entrance of the Kremlin walls.... Just before we entered the gates I could see the entirety of St. Basil's Cathedral as it fit perfectly in the key-hole entrance. The entire thing was illuminated. With the snow falling it looked like a snow globe. My heart stopped.

We walked through the gates.... and we walked... and walked.. and walked... towards St. Basil's. Not a word was exchanged. The snow was still falling- fat flakes landing on my face. Looking around I saw, GUM (the oldest mall in the world), Lenin's Tomb, the Kremlin, and looking straight ahead again, I could see St. Basil's- which was built by Ivan the Terrible. Centuries of history... centuries of buildings... the amazing things that happened on Red Square, the people who have walked on these bricks before me... and looking up again: St. Basil's. Only 1/2 way there and I am overcome with how HUGE it is. I mean, I knew it was big... but nothing was like seeing it in person. No pictures I have ever seen compare to the sheer majesty of seeing it in with my own eyes, breathing in the frigged Russian air....

I suddenly felt overwhelmed and heavy. I had to sit down, right there, in the middle of Red Square and compose myself. It was as if my entire life had been leading up to this moment. My Russian friend asked me what was wrong. I started sobbing and I said... "I don't ever want to leave."

To which he replied, "Now you know how I feel. Everyday."

Everything I had been studying suddenly made much more sense to me. The language, the people....



This sort of thing happened quite often that first trip. Pictures, websites bring back nostalgia. But will never, ever replace my need to be there. NO, "virtual Russia" just won't do.

 

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